Emerelda: About "I am not good enough"

Hello,

This is Emerelda again. I communicated a message to you last week, titled "Emerelda: Life can be hard, please be kind to yourself." If you missed that message, please read or listen to that one first. 

Like last week's message, this message may be a bit intense and will mention psychological after-effects of myself having been captured, tortured and raped by reptilians. Those psychological after-effects are not the focus of this message, but I will mention some of them as they become relevant.

To start off, I would like to share some intel.

The dark side or the service-to-self side often lives in denial and often underestimates and doesn't understand the light. Yet even the dark side has realized that they're losing their grip on Earth humans. And because your DNA comes from many galactic races and because of your experiences with the light and the dark, Earth humans have a huge psychic potential. You have the potential to become incredibly powerful at some point in the future. And Earth humans are on a path that is going to lead to most of you ultimately siding with the light.

Because of this, the reptilians recently attacked, around Earth and elsewhere. Their primary goal was to take control of Earth. After all, we had chased away or arrested most hostile galactics from Earth. The people who are currently oppressing you are mostly Earth humans.

We successfully defended you and ourselves from these reptilian attacks. However, we unfortunately took quite some casualties in the process. One friend of mine died, and one person died who was somewhere between a friend and an acquaintance of mine.

Personally I did a few things of military value by doing some coordination work in the rear, but I contributed less than I would have liked. I guess I'll have to remind myself of one of last week's lessons, which is that it doesn't make sense to compare yourself to some theoretical standard. After all, most likely that theoretical standard isn't actually based on anything real.

I contributed less than I would have liked because these battles were psychologically triggering for me. The galactic confederation's military defenses were very solid. Yet I was petrified for a time by the irrational fear that we would lose, that I would be captured once again by reptilians and that they would continue doing the things to me that they did the last time they captured me.

I also horrified my family when they read in my mind the firm conviction that if any of us were close to being captured by reptilians, that I would end my life or the life of whatever family member of mine was about to be captured. There is no way that I am going to allow myself or anyone in my family to be captured by reptilians, ever again.

Fortunately, the galactic confederation won convincingly and we beat back these attacks. We had some tactical setbacks and local retreats in non-critical areas, but we are currently reversing these. By the time you get this message, we will probably have mostly or fully recaptured those areas.

The reptilians are quite good on a tactical level, but they neglect the strategic and operational levels. Or to put it in plainer terms: they're ferocious fighters on an individual level. They're also quite instinctively clever about winning battles. However they don't work well or coordinate well together on any scale larger than a battlefield. They don't think well in terms of a bigger strategic picture, and they don't spend enough time thinking about logistics and formations supporting each other and positioning and control of critical areas and about consolidating captured positions. If they're not immediately successful, they also can engage in backstabbing and fighting among themselves. A group of reptilians can fall apart if their leader dies. How effective reptilians are depends very much on whether or not they have a strong, smart, cunning leader.

I personally have had some resistance to R'Kok ever since my capture by reptilians. Yet R'Kok is still a very smart reptilian who, before he turned to the light, operated at the highest levels of reptilian society. And I must say, R'Kok gave a lot of very useful advice that saved quite a few lives. The one time I saw him recently, he seemed less down on himself and more in his element than usual, at least in that moment. So that's good. 

Hakann also did well, in as far as I can evaluate someone who is significantly higher in the military hierarchy than myself. The troops also love him, for understandable reasons. And if a soldier has to fight, it feels so much better to fight when you believe that the military decision-makers above you are competent and are making the right decisions.

Now, to be clear, our successful defense doesn't mean that we'll land tomorrow. Still, if these attacks had been successful in destroying our fleet around Earth, then reptilians would have taken control of Earth. They would likely then have killed 90% of Earth humans within six months and thoroughly enslaved the rest. If they had won these recent battles, they likely would have had enough reptiles on the ground to actually be able to do that.

To be fair, if the reptilians had beaten us, maybe Source or certain non-physical, very high-consciousness beings or collectives would have intervened directly. Generally these types of non-physical, very high consciousness beings or collectives don't intervene directly if it's not absolutely necessary. They prefer to let physical beings such as us deal with matters of physical reality, if at all possible.

So I guess it's the old principle of "as above, so below." Some of you want us to directly intervene on Earth in a big way, and so far we haven't, and you're suffering because of that. Similarly, on a slightly higher level, the same happens. Namely, some of us wished that non-physical higher consciousness beings would directly intervene to help us against the reptilian attacks, and they didn't, and because of that we had quite some casualties.

On a positive note: "as above, so below" also implies that because destructive beings just lost on a more galactic level, they may very well also lose on Earth. 

Of course, I am not saying that people should just sit on the couch and wait for other people to liberate Earth. I still recommend that you do your best in terms of your own inner work, and / or in terms of helping others or being kind to others. You can't do more than your best, but you should do your best.

Meanwhile, we of the galactic confederation are not sitting still. We already were sending positive energy to Earth, mostly to raise your vibration and to raise the energy on Earth. Those energies had the effects of slowly awakening your dormant, so-called junk DNA, however that was more of a side-effect or a secondary benefit.

On 14 January of this year, we started sending energy to Earth that is directly and primarily aimed at awakening your dormant DNA, and thereby expanding your psychic powers and your inner knowing. 

Because of this, the probability that Earth humans will actually free themselves in 2024 or 2025 has risen substantially. I'm not saying that this is guaranteed to happen, but I am saying that this is now substantially more likely. If Earth humans fail to do so, we still have our intervention plan ready.

Now, these new energies do not mean that everyone will be immediately fully unlocked. Rather, people will become more and more psychically unlocked over time. The great awakening, as it has been called, may accelerate even more. 

For many of you, you won't immediately be able to move objects with your mind, but you might notice your intuition or your dreams being a bit sharper. It may be good the coming months to practice listening to your inner guidance, if you're not yet doing that already. Just make sure that you're not confusing emotions with intuition, because while emotions are valid, they can also lead you astray. To distinguish between them, your intuition isn't judgemental or fearful, while your emotions can be.

On the other hand, some of you are currently so emotionally blocked that this energy will take quite a long time to activate you in this way, and you won't notice anything in the foreseeable future.

For those among you who are currently blocked, one good practice is to observe whatever comes up. And while this may sound obvious, few people do this consistently. Instead, people often go immediately inside the emotion or inside the thought without observing it first. 

For example, a thought in someone might arise such as "John is a jerk" and that person will immediately take that as truth and start thinking about John indeed being a jerk. Instead, before immediately going into that thought and accepting it as real, it's a good step to first observe that a thought has arisen that says that John is a jerk.

Because after all, it's possible that John is indeed a jerk, and that is the proper thing to think about. But it's also possible that John is a jerk, yet it's still better to look inside rather than start pointing fingers at the outside world, even if justified. It's also possible that John isn't a jerk at all, and John just said something true that you emotionally didn't like, and now your ego is projecting negative things onto John. It's possible that John is indeed a jerk, but he's also right. Or it's possible that John is partly wrong but also partly right. Or it's possible that John is a jerk, but you too were behaving in a bad way. Et cetera.

Hence, if a thought comes up, it's more productive to observe that thought, and possibly observe the relevant context, rather than immediately accepting that thought as true and going inside that thought and thinking in those terms.

Also, when it comes to labeling others as bad or when judging others, it's important to keep in mind that the natural state of people is to act with love and compassion and understanding towards others. It just doesn't happen that a Pleiadian is raised in love and surrounded by kind people all his or her life, and then he or she randomly decides to start mistreating people. Hence, if someone else is not behaving lovingly, then there was some illusion or distortion or pain that they experienced. They may be wrong, they may be behaving unkindly or even destructively, but it's also true that ultimately they have been hurt themselves and it's good to keep that in mind too and have some compassion. This doesn't mean that you don't defend your boundaries, just that you also have compassion and treat the other person with as much love as possible.

After all, there have almost certainly been times when you acted in a less than ideal way because of pain or loneliness that you experienced earlier. In those situations, didn't you want other people to treat you with love?

Admittedly, I myself sometimes have a hard time keeping this in mind. But it's still true.

Note that a few things can be true at the same time. It's true that some people are making free-will choices that are harming others. It's true that they shouldn't do so, from a conventional every-day perspective. It's true that people have free will. It's true that people have personal responsibility. It's also true that people who hurt others have been hurt or have been confused themselves. All of these things are simultaneously true. 

Often it happens that someone will discover a true and valuable and genuine perspective, and then they proclaim that only their perspective is the one true perspective, and everyone else must adopt their perspective too. When in reality, just because one perspective is true, doesn't mean that other perspectives aren't also true. People indeed have personal responsibility, and also it's true that people who hurt others have been hurt themselves. Both are true. 

It's not helpful if a person comes around and proclaims for example personal responsibility to be the sole useful perspective and if that person tries to bulldoze all other perspectives. Because if someone only sees personal responsibility as the one true perspective, they can become callous and cold towards people who are struggling. Or if a person only sees "if someone acts badly, they have been hurt themselves" as the one true perspective, they can become naive and start supporting feel-good policies that are ultimately detrimental. It's best to see both perspectives, and more besides.

For me, spirituality isn't about finding the one true perspective and bulldozing all other perspectives. Spirituality is about being able to look at things from more and more perspectives.

For me, spirituality isn't about finding the one, most spiritual part of yourself and suppressing anything that isn't that. It's not about saying that only inner work has value and that everything else is pointless. Spirituality isn't a binary choice between either focusing 100% inwards or 100% outwards.

For me, spirituality is about observing more and more unseen parts of yourself and accepting that you have those, thereby shrinking your shadow. It's not about pushing so-called bad things into your shadow because you refuse to accept that they are part of you, or because you refuse to accept that you have those interests or desires.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on yourself. However, you can work on yourself from a place of love, or you can work on yourself from a place of resistance and inner judgement. Those are very different things.

So, that was the intel part of this message, plus I guess I got a bit carried away and I offered some of my thoughts about spirituality.

For the second half of this message, I would like to add something to my message from last week.

Many of you have the subconscious belief that you are not good enough or that you are worthless, unless you accomplish or have certain things. Or you have the belief that you are not doing enough, and perhaps underneath that belief is the belief that you are not inherently good enough.

Inherently, of course, you are good enough, you inherently have value, even if you don't do anything. It's why in spirituality we talk about your I Am presence and not your I Do presence. It's why you're a Being, not a Doing. I believe that "to be or not to be" is even a famous phrase on your world. A good question -- and from my perspective, you are fully invited To Be. You are good enough as you are. You can just Be. You have value even if you don't accomplish something.

Still, where does that subconscious belief come from that you're not inherently good enough, or that you're worthless? 

Often on Earth, it's simply been rammed into you, by society, that you're not good enough. That happens in lots of subtle but effective ways. You believe you're not good enough because that's what society teaches you. That belief isn't based on anything real, you've just been indoctrinated into that belief. You believe it because you've been taught to believe it.

And who has constructed society in such a way? Well, hostile galactics such as reptilians have had a major hand in that. Or claw -- some reptilian subspecies have hands, others have claws.

Now, what kind of person repeatedly tells someone else that they are not good enough?

Well, yes, a mean or evil person. But also, a person who actually believes, deep down, that the other person is better than them.

That's the dirty little secret. You're constantly being told that you're not good enough, by a society largely architected by beings who deep down believe that you're better than they are.

It's not just that you have more psychic potential than the reptilians do -- which isn't something that makes you inherently more valuable than a reptilian, of course. It's more that being good-hearted and trying to live a good life, which is what most Earth humans choose, is a more difficult and braver and more fulfilling path than just being selfish, which is what most reptilians currently choose.

The reptilians are in this case right, the people of Earth are currently indeed better than them -- not because of greater psychic potential, but because most reptilians keep making cruel, short-sighted, selfish choices that ultimately diminish themselves. 

You're currently better than most reptilians are because you're choosing to be better.

So those bastards are trying to hold you down and hold your head underwater and tell you that you're worthless -- and they do so because they're secretly terrified of you. They do so because deep down they feel inferior to you.

I know. I've looked into their eyes, I've read their mind. 

Even as they were torturing me, all I saw were weak, insecure creatures, who buried their feelings of inferiority under a layer of cruelty and ego.

So, what is the appropriate reaction if you're in an abusive relationship with someone who repeatedly tells you that you're worthless?

It is: "F you, I am not worthless. And you will never lay a finger on me ever again."

Well, F you reptilians. The people of Earth are not worthless. And we will make sure that there will come a time when you won't lay a finger on them ever again.

So, can you now see that your possible belief that you're worthless, that you're not good enough, wasn't ever based on anything real?

It was never real. It was all just indoctrination that was architected by beings who felt inferior to you, and they felt that way because they kept making choices that diminished themselves.

That's it. It was never based on anything real.

You are good enough, inherently and unconditionally. And I love you.

Your star sister,

Emerelda