Emerelda: Life can be hard, please be kind to yourself

Content warning: a somewhat intense description of the psychological effects of rape and torture. No visual descriptions of those topics. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, the US National Sexual Assault Hotline can be reached at 800.656.HOPE (4673)

Hello to the people of Earth,

This is Emerelda speaking. My information tells me that on Earth the name Esmerelda is more common, but my name is Emerelda, without the S.

My message for you is as it says in the title. Life on Earth can be really tough. So: please be kind to yourself, and please try not to compare yourself to some theoretical standard. You can't do more than your best.

Let me further introduce myself.

I am a Pleiadian squad commander. The closest Earth equivalent would be a sergeant: I lead relatively small groups of soldiers into battle. Yes, I am the woman whom the channeler mentioned in his extra message from last Sunday.

Last year, in terms of your calendar, a group of reptilians caught me while I was working to help the people of Earth. Fortunately, at that time they didn't manage to capture anyone else aside from me. Unfortunately, they then proceeded to torture and repeatedly rape me for nearly a month.

That's just what reptilians tend to do to captives. They enjoy it and they energetically feed off suffering. The sexuality of the average reptilian is about lust and procreation, but also about establishing and demonstrating ownership and control over someone, and inflicting pain and humiliation until that control is accepted.

By the way, that is also how the relatively few remaining reptilians in positions of power on Earth, and their more numerous human minions work. They inflict pain and humiliation until control is accepted. 

That is why, for example, America and Americans are being harmed on a macro scale right now. I'm genuinely sorry for your suffering and for the damage that's being done to your beautiful country, Americans. However, that those bastards are actively trying to harm you is a testament to the freedom and independence inherent in the American spirit, and I salute you. You are a beautiful people. I also love the other people of Earth, but right now I find myself resonating with the American people and their seeming inherent desire to stand up to tyranny.

Back to my sad story. Thankfully, I was freed before they could sell me into sexual slavery. But I haven't been quite the same person ever since.

Fortunately, our healing technology is pretty good. I can remember being in that room, I can remember what they did to me, I can access those memories and emotions, but I can also just function mostly normally. If I don't actively look at that place in my mind, I can still have a mostly normal life.

If I don't actively look at that place in my mind, I usually don't feel the guilt for eventually just choosing to lower my mental guard and letting them mind read all the relevant information I had, when I couldn't take it anymore. 

That information they gained might have later contributed to the death of one of my comrades. 

If I had been stronger and kept up my mental guard... then who knows what would have happened.

That man's family doesn't blame me at all. However, the knowledge does eat at me a little bit, that eventually I just let them do what they wanted, without resisting them.

I... I can't believe I just let them do what they wanted. I could have been stronger. I should have been stronger.

Should I have been stronger?

Or is that just holding myself to some theoretical standard that isn't actually based on anything real?

Thank Source for my family, they have been an amazing support for me during the last year. And thank Source for the man who saved me.

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, before I discuss the most important reason, let me first get two quick points out of the way.

First: personally I think it's helpful to replace the concept of happiness with two different concepts. One concept is: on a deep level, are you satisfied with what you're doing? Do you think you're doing the right things, are you doing things that are ultimately meaningful to you? And the second concept is: is your day-to-day life enjoyable? So personally, I can say that I was helping the people of Earth, and right now I'm still spending a reduced amount of time helping the people of Earth, as well as going through my personal healing process. These things feel meaningful to me. Hence, in this respect I can say that I am happy.

The second point I want to make is that I've actually been so angry with our leadership for not helping the people of Earth more. Yes, they are doing certain things -- raising the energy and consciousness on Earth, preventing disasters, doing special operations, arresting hostile extraterrestrials, et cetera. But still. If I get raped and tortured, then that's such a huge tragedy, and everyone tells me they're so sorry, and people say that no one should go through that and steps should be taken to make sure that no one gets raped or tortured again. Yet people on Earth get raped and tortured everyday, and our leadership so far refuses to just intervene and stop it. That makes me so angry. 

In fact, later I'll go tell them this to their face.

But let's get to the primary reason why I told you my story, as well as the primary point of this message.

So, I have suffered.

I think the people on Earth have suffered too. Some of that suffering you're well aware of. And partly, the average person on Earth never receives the love, the energy, the nutrition, the connection to Source, the warm emotional bath, the safe family and the community container that they need to build a truly solid foundation. Over time, this has a very corrosive and disorienting effect. And so there's a certain amount of background suffering and background anxiety that people on Earth are constantly under. You're probably used to it, but it actually isn't normal at all to be regularly anxious or regularly fearful or regularly in psychological pain.

While it's hard to compare two different kinds of suffering, honestly I think I'd rather suffer intensely for one month and otherwise spend my days surrounded by people who love me, rather than suffer this less intense but constant background anxiety and fear and disconnection that comes with living on Earth.

I know that if I told my story to you face to face, you would be kind to me. You would be gentle to me. You would be empathetic and understanding.

So then, if you can be kind and gentle and understanding to another person who has suffered, can't you also be kind and gentle and understanding to yourself? Most likely you have suffered too.

You deserve love and kindness too. You do.

Suppose I told you that I thought that I should be this productive or this happy or this spiritually accomplished, and I'm failing at that, and that proves I'm not good enough. Well, you would clearly see that I'm holding myself to an unreasonable standard, given the context and situation. You would probably say that my failure to live up to some theoretical standard absolutely doesn't prove that I'm not good enough. You would probably say that I actually am good enough already.

Well, dear people of Earth, the same thing goes for yourself.

That you're not living up to some theoretical standard, absolutely doesn't prove that you're not good enough or that you're not doing enough. You are good enough. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Some people on Earth might judge you, but what do they know? Earth people who judge aren't oracles, they're often just emotionally wounded people acting out unconscious patterns. There is no need to base your self-image on what they say about you. They're not speaking from a place of truth.

Right now I don't have my life in order as well as I would like. I'm not working a lot of hours right now. I'm not doing as much as I think I should, because after all my job is helping you, and you are still not free.

But I know that you would not judge me for this.

So then, why do you judge yourself? 

You, too, likely have suffered. You, too, likely are doing your best, and that's all you can do. You can't do more than your best.

Why are you kinder to a woman you've never met than you are to yourself?

Because you fully deserve all the love and care and understanding in the world, no less than I do.

It's not only other people who deserve love and care and understanding and gentleness. You deserve it too. Yes, you, the one receiving this message.

I know that you're not holding me to some theoretical standard -- that I should be this productive, or this happy, or this spiritually accomplished. I know that you understand that it would not be productive or fair or loving to point out that other people are working more hours than I do, or have a calmer mind than I do.

Well, beloved people of Earth, then why do you hold yourself to some theoretical standard? For you have suffered too. It's no less unproductive or fair or loving to compare yourself to some theoretical standard, than it is to compare me to one. 

I think those who are trying to heal and trying to improve and trying to be good kind people are amazingly brave. Keeping in mind how harsh Earth is, people on that path are doing a great job. Yes, I know it's really hard. That's why the universe sent the strongest and brightest souls to Earth -- namely, you.

Just because you're not living up to some theoretical standard one might have, doesn't prove that there's anything wrong with you. It just proves that life on Earth is incredibly tough. Indeed, it is. Still, in context, anyone who tries to grow and improve and be conscious and be good and kind is actually doing a really brave and amazing thing.

You wouldn't judge me for not working a certain amount of time, for not having a certain level of happiness, for not reaching a certain spiritual level, right? Then why on Earth would it be fair to hold yourself to some theoretical standard?

After all, all that we can ever do is our best. And that's enough. You can't do more than your best. So, there's also no need to beat yourself up if you did your best yet failed to live up to some theoretical standard. You are you, and you are good enough, and you are enough.

Also, most likely you are not actually doing worse than the people around you. It's just that on Earth, people tend to share their successes and hide their failures and their pain, thus creating the illusion that everyone around you is doing much better than they actually are. But honestly, it's already pretty amazing even if you're just trying to be a good person, or trying to grow, or trying to become as conscious as you can be. Even just trying to move in one of those directions means that you have nobler intentions than a whole lot of people do.

So, if you evaluate yourself, please do so in the context of how harsh life is. Some theoretical standard you might have in your head, probably isn't actually based on anything real.

On a planet with billions of people, you can always find someone who is better than you at something. But that doesn't in any way prove that you're not good enough. Would it be reasonable to say that only a tiny group of top performers are good enough, and the rest aren't? No, of course not. 

Would you say to my face that I'm not good enough, because some of my peers are more productive or happier or more spiritually advanced than I am? Of course you wouldn't. So then, why compare yourself to others, if you understand that it's not fair to compare other people to others?

Please be kind to yourself. Life on Earth is harsh enough already. There's really no reason to be less kind to yourself than you would be to another person. You deserve kindness just as much as other people do. Really, you do.

I love you and empathize with you.

Your star sister,

Emerelda